This is the blog that will only be read by one person. I’m not putting it out there for anyone else.

[Update]
So I’m in limbo right now. I fear the worst but with each little bit of contact, I hope for the best. I’ve just got to keep fighting, as best as I can without being overbearing, and let her reach a decision on her own. I made the decisions which placed us here and now I have to wait for the decision of another before I see the direction my life is going to head.

I know my heart made the right decision in who I chose.

So I purchased his book, Killing Sacred Cows.

One of my initial impressions of the book is it wasn’t written as a beginners financial book…or a “how to”. I asked Garret about this in a phone call and he confirmed it the book wasn’t for your average person. In actuality, the book isn’t as much about finances, as it is in finding your Soul Purpose or the reason you exist. In doing so, by Garret’s theory, you will be happier and more successful…and that doesn’t necessarily mean financially.

While there are some very interesting concepts in the book, a section I read tonight, really hit home based on a long ago relationship and a recently failed relationship. In this particular section, Garret talked about how he became so obsessed with being “debt free” and having a certain amount of “security” that he was in fact going backwards and denying himself and his family things that would bring happiness and productive results into their lives. According to Garret, he truly realized this when he told his wife they couldn’t move out of their small apartment because it would cost them too much money to have a house…and then he realized that he had a successful consulting business AND fourteen cash flowing rental properties. He quickly changed his mind and the happiness of his family and the positivity and productive mentality the home purchase brought into his life quickly led to an increase in financial success in his professional life.

I’d like to make clear this isn’t giving people a license to buy whatever they want guilt free. If you can afford a purchase and it is going to bring lasting happiness into your life and make you more productive, then the theory is this positivity will in turn boost your production

Now my place is not to debate whether this is BS or not, but each of the multi-millionaires I know are the most positive people I know. That being said, I can only relay my personal story that followed a similar path recently.

When the first “Love of My Life” aka the “Bird Girl” and I broke up, it was in large part because I had no financial control. I spent every dime I had and then some. She was a very fiscally conservative person…being in banking and finances this was probably a good thing…haha. The devastating emotional impact of this breakup, caused me to re-think my actions in this area…which was a good thing. The bad part, however, is like all good things, you can take it too far and turn it into a bad thing. For me this meant becoming obsessed with the idea of being “debt free”. For years I have pinched pennies and never really done everything for joy. Sure I’ve had rough times in owning my own businesses but there have been times where I can afford to treat myself as well and don’t.

This came to a head in my last relationship with the 3rd person I’ve ever been in love with…I have yet to come up with an appropriate nickname for this person. When we went on a surprise trip to Puerto Rico, all I could think about is what else I could have done with that money…and not fun stuff…I mean pay my credit card off or something. This thought process and resulting blogging about it probably hurt our relationship to the point it never recovered.

So how does all of the above relate to my insight or revelation. When I went on the cruise about a month ago, I was determined to basically not give a shit about the money. All I wanted to do was to have fun and enjoy myself…and I did. When I returned home I was relaxed for weeks…and still am. My production since that cruise has been so high, it was and is shocking to me. Business has taken the largest upswing I’ve ever seen and more is coming down the pipe behind it. I purchased a car that I have always wanted and the joy of doing so has further increased my positivity and happiness. In turn over the last few weeks, I’ve had the opportunity to help others due to my success and I’ve also taken it upon myself to reach out to friends I haven’t spoken with in some time and see how they are.

Part of the curse of being a business owner is each and everyone I know says that they lead a very emotionally up and down life because of business. I understand there will be down times again in the future. However, the positivity and…for lack of a better word…joy that I have in my life is overwhelming. I hope I can share it with others and improve the positivity in their lives as well.