So to begin the weekend of magic I hauled down I-75 in the trusty convertible on Thursday night wanting a full day of rest before the weekend. Any idea of rest was quickly put to, um, rest when I arrived to find my other sister Karen already in town. Let’s just say the three of us were up until 3AM laughing, making jokes, making fun of each other, etc. I can assure you that during some point of those six hours, we managed to insult almost every religion, ethnicity, and thought process on the planet. Experiencing the three of us together is NOT for the weak of heart.

Friday night was Kim’s birthday party at Mangrove’s a small bar/restaurant in Tampa. Michelle, Kim’s roommate had done a great job with the location. One end of the bar, some seats, and a part of the patio were reserved for us. A nice crowd of about thirty people showed including a number of current and ex Tampa Bay Buccaneer Cheerleaders. I had a great conversation with one of Kim’s buddies, a lawyer named Tammy, and her partner in their law firm Rob. I met a couple of other great people as well.

The atmosphere was great, the cake even better, and we all headed home around 1AM for Gasparilla in the morning.

Gasparilla almost didn’t happen. Just as we were leaving Kim’s I received a message that one of our servers was down! Sonofa! I told Kim and Co. to leave. The issue took about 15 minutes to fix and Karen drove me near the parade route wher I hopped out and walked to the parade and met up with Kim, Michelle, and a couple who are their friends…Angel and Jimmy.

Gasparilla was an experience. Three hours before the parade their were thousands of people, many dressed as pirates, almost all with beads, strolling up and down the parade route. Oh yea, just about everyone over the age of 16 was hammered. We started a pre-parade party at some sports agents house named Tom that Kim knows. Great guy. While there I felt this shadow move behind me…I’m used to being bigger than or the same size as a lot of professional athletes…this guy was a retired NBA player who as a good seven feet tall…I felt dwarfed!

Best part of this party is Fred McGriff aka “Crime Dog” a famous, retired MLB player is one of Kim’s good friends. I had never met him and Kim was actually in an argument with him and wouldn’t talk to him. While Kim was using the restroom, I went up and introduced myself and as a joke, when Kim came out of the bathroom, he had our arms around each other like buddies. I think Kim was ready to kill me.

Funny story…walking around, this group of guys had a shopping cart made to look like a Pirate Ship (Argh!). They had worked a funnel system into the ship and offered Kim a free drink since she was walking around with her birthday sash on. After choking (literally) on the first attempt, she chugged the second cannon full of beer. She then promptly freaking out that she was going to catch an STD from all the people who had stuck their lips on the funnel before her…I laughed.

After leaving this party we headed to another one down the parade route. To make a long story short, Kim’s roommate, Michelle caused us to walk about 2 miles extra (no exaggeration) more than we had to. Angel, Jimmy, and I were ready to kill her. We eventually made it to the second party right on the parade route. About halfway through the parade, I decided that I needed some beads so I ran down to the crowd. Out of the seven floats that went by, I caught beads from six of them causing some girl behind me to exclaim, “FUCKING TALL PEOPLE!”

Eventually the parade ended and all that was left behind was a mish-mash of trash and passed out individuals in random yards. My sister and managed to get a little too intoxicated and along with Michelle were stopping every 20 feet it seemed to talk to someone. We eventually got fed up and just tried to take off without them, only to get lost trying to make it to the pick up spot where Karen was to meet us.

I made it back to Kim’s around 7PM and was in my car and on the way home by 8PM. Pictures coming soon!

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Now playing: Pet Shop Boys – Home And Dry
via FoxyTunes