In the archives of turning points in my life, today will certainly join the pantheon of great moments that determined my direction.

Once before, about 3 years ago, I almost gave up my dream of owning my own business and becoming a millionaire. It was one of the very low points in the journey I’ve taken over the last four-and-a-half years. I actually put in two job applications that day but never followed up.

I woke up today, feeling low for several reasons. I finally let go emotionally of someone who I had once had very high hopes for and the role they might play in my life. I can now (well probably in a month when I’m finished working my ass off) move forward in that aspect of my life once again. Which brings us to “The Toy Project”.

I’ve dedicated the last 8 months of my life to this project on the belief that this would be it. Hundreds of thousands of dollars and countless hours have been invested in the project. At the last moment, huge changes were requested that I was very against and I saw my dream slipping away. Today I sat in front of my computer and seriously asked a friend in Orlando for a job application as a web designer with his company and asked another friend how long it took to become a some sort of air conditioning computer tech, fixer, manager, thingie whatever the hell he does. It sucked.

After a couple of hours the, depending on your view, the stupidity or courage I’m known for shined through. I just cannot give up, I hate losing, I cannot stand to fail. Sometimes this is bad…as in I should let a relationship go instead of continuing, in other ways it is good…in business or sports.

In the afternoon I was called into a meeting with my partners. I was almost positive that they were going to give me a vote of no-confidence and buy me out of the company. Would I still have made what most people consider a decent chunk of money? Yes. However I would not have been able to finish the task I was given…which would be much more intolerable than the thought of losing out on millions of dollars.

To my surprise, I was given an education, an eye-opening education, on what being a part of a true team and partnership means. I’m still quite shocked. My partners basically took their many years of business experience and success and said, “We’re sticking with you…it’s you who has to get this done and everything is at your disposal to do so.”

Wow.

It was a very deep moment. For me there is so much that depends on this…if this works…I’ll have everything I’ve ever wanted. I’ll be able to know my sisters will always be taken care of, I’ll be able to help some of my friends that I feel deserve a good break and to find a way to thank those who always stood by me. Most importantly for myself, I know I’ll be able to always support and take of the family I one day intend to have and to be a stay at home Dad as much as I want.

The world keeps moving and spinning and the ride is an amazing thing. I hope when it finishes that the feeling of winning is all I ever hoped it would be and that all the low moments were well worth it.

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